Ring-gong, ring-gong…

The church bells echoed.

I stood inside the church, a woman beside me, the woman who today was becoming my wife.

It all started when Hakamada recommended that matching app. From that moment, you could say my life, my fate, truly began to move.

The long, long journey of marriage-hunting was finally reaching its goal.

I turned to the woman beside me, radiant in her pure-white wedding dress.

“Shall we?”

She nodded, and—

Rrrring—rrrrring—rrrrring…

The ringing phone woke me up.

I never got to see the face of the woman standing beside me, and the memory of the dream slipped away in an instant.

▼　▼　▼

I’d made Sagara-san go shopping with me for Ayase-san’s birthday present, then Ayase-san had her accident, and I’d ditched the date halfway to rush to the hospital.

So as soon as I got home, I sent Sagara-san a heartfelt apology through the app, saying I wanted to make it up to her somehow.

(Come to think of it, we still hadn’t exchanged LINE IDs…)

But no reply came right away.

The next morning, though, there was a message:

Can you give me just a little time? I need to think.

Reading that, I thought:

(This basically means I’m being dumped, right?)

I’d seen it in manga—the so-called “cooling-off period” message, the “take the hint” prelude to a breakup.

Though… maybe she meant something else entirely?

I had no idea.

Got it. I’ll wait for your message.

I didn’t even know if that was the right reply. It was the only thing I could think to send.

A week passed in silence.

Then came Saturday.

I was at home, talking to Ayase-san—who had been discharged a few days earlier—about Sagara-san.

Ayase-san seemed to have no lingering effects from the accident. All tests were clear, and she’d been back at school since the day before yesterday.

This morning, without any prior appointment, she had suddenly called from right in front of my house, waking me up.

I’d definitely been dreaming something… but the moment she said “I’m outside,” the dream vanished. I barely remembered it.

And now here we were—she was consulting me (or rather, teasing me) about Sagara-san.

Ayase-san sat on the sofa, one bandaged foot crossed over the other, looking down at me imperiously.

“Of course she’s ignoring you. Buying another girl a present on a date, then ditching the date to run to that other girl? Normal people would block you on the spot.”

“But she hasn’t blocked me. And the present aside, the second part was because of you—”

“What? So it’s my fault now? The only reason I got hurt in the first place was—”

“I know, I know, I’m not saying that!”

“But this way you can finally put the past behind you, right? That message was basically a goodbye.”

She stood up from the sofa, slipped behind me, and wrapped her arms around me from behind.

“If it’s her you want, isn’t that what I’m here for? Right, Shuu-kun♡”

“Don’t call me that…”

“Pretty good imitation, huh? The vibe too. Plus I’m younger and brand-new♪ Way better than that used model. Let’s bet on the future instead of the past—full speed ahead to a hopeful tomorrow!”

“What is that energy. And don’t just decide she’s ‘used’—”

“Aww, Sensei’s face is red~♪ You know she’s been around the block at her age. You’re on that app too—you get it. Or do you still think she’s saving herself for you? Unlike you, Sensei.”

“Stop it!”

I shouted and spun around to face her.

“Anyway, why did you even come over? You said you had something to do.”

“To say thank you for the present♪”

She proudly stroked the sparkly choker I’d given her. She clearly loved it—she wore it everywhere outside school.

I was happy the gift hadn’t gone to waste… but also a little embarrassed. It reminded me of what Sagara-san had said:

Deep down, doesn’t that mean you want to put a collar on her?

Now that I thought about it, it really did look like a collar. Why did I pick something like that…?

“Well then, Sensei, I’ll cook you something delicious♡”

“That’s nice of you, but…”

“Oh, right! I’m staying over tonight. Mom’s boyfriend is coming to the house.”

“Eh.”

The image of Ayase-san’s mother—the towering celebrity actress Kagami Yuri who had completely overwhelmed me at the hospital—flashed through my mind.

“…Did she say anything? About me, I mean…”

“Nope. Haven’t talked since. And don’t get your hopes up—Mom’s not into your type.”

“That’s not what I—”

A widow with a kid is heavy baggage anyway. And she’s my student’s parent.

This is the kind of situation Yanamume from Maison Aoyagi specializes in.

“So I can stay, right?”

“Even if I say no, you’re staying anyway, aren’t you?”

“Ob-vi-ous-ly♡”

I scratched my head with one hand.

“Tell me these things in advance!”

“You didn’t have plans anyway, right? And well, looks like things with the ex are pretty much over, so the girlfriend hunt continues! Which means I’ll keep coaching you♪ I’ll teach you all sorts of things about girls so your next dates—and what comes after—go perfectly♡”

She wrapped her arms around my neck again and pressed herself against my back.

“Summer break is almost here, so we’ll have plenty of time for lessons♪”

She wasn’t wrong, but—

“Get off me…”

Just like earlier, two very feminine soft things were squishing against my back. It was impossible to ignore.

The last time I’d felt something like this was… when Sagara-san had grabbed my arm on the way to the hospital.

“No way♡”

“You think acting cute will make it okay?”

“You need practice getting used to a girl’s body, right? Come on, come on~”

She rubbed herself against me even harder.

(Ugh…)

The softness and curves were pure biological temptation.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Stop! If you don’t get off—”

“If I don’t?”

“I’ll do this!”

“Eh!?”

I pushed her down onto the floor with all my strength.

Ayase-san’s face turned crimson as she looked up at me in shock.

“Sensei has finally awakened his male instincts…”

“That’s right—so take this!”

I started tickling her sides mercilessly.

Of course, tears sprang to her eyes as she writhed and burst out laughing.

“Stop—Sensei, that feels too good! Ahahaha—wait, is tickling your fetish? That’s seriously bad taste—ahahahaha!”

She flailed and laughed.

“Tickling is corporal punishment! Seriously—nngh, no, I’m gonna feel—ahh… seriously, this is dangerous… aaahn♡”

“Hey, stop making lewd noises!”

“Are you getting excited, Sensei? Then I’ll do it more—kyahaha! Okay, I’ll stop! I’ll get off, ahahahaha!”

I stopped when she said that.

“…Just kidding!”

“Eh!?”

She flipped me over in an instant and started tickling me instead.

“Wait—stop! Hahahaha!”

“Sensei’s weak too, huh?”

“Y-Yeah, kinda…”

Every part of her body was pressing against mine.

It was getting dangerous in all sorts of ways.

(But how do I even say it…)

While I was panicking, she seemed to notice on her own.

“Oh? Sensei, thinking dirty thoughts after all? Want an even better feel of a girl’s body? Rub rub rub~”

Now she was deliberately pressing her chest against me.

Even as a joke, this was too much.

“Enough! I get it! Get off!”

“No can do. Then do what you did in the hospital—call me Sakura. If you don’t, I’ll leave hickeys all over your neck. Good luck explaining that on dates♪”

“Wha…”

That would be bad.

I just wanted this situation to end.

So I shouted:

“Please get off me, Sakura!!”

“——!!”

Her whole face went scarlet.

Looking embarrassed, she finally let go.

“…Sensei, did you hate the hickey idea that much? They’re not that visible on the neck unless you undress…”

She looked away, then suddenly:

“Wait—do you already have someone you’re about to sleep with…? Or are you lying to me about that woman!?”

She pounced again.

“I’m not lying!”

“Hmm, fine… So? Did you learn what boyfriends and girlfriends do?”

“Was that what that was?”

“Isn’t it?”

Well… maybe.

It also felt kinda like siblings.

Though siblings probably don’t give each other hickeys.

“Well, I learned that guys’ bodies are harder than I expected. Did you enjoy the softness, Sensei?”

“Look—”

She gave me a teasing grin, and my face went red.

Ding-dong.

The doorbell.

“Ah, delivery? Coming~ I’ll get it!”

“Wait—!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. This is girlfriend-like, right?”

“That’s not a normal girlfriend thing!”

She went straight to the door without checking the intercom.

“Who i~s it… eh?”

“Eh…?”

A man’s voice.

The moment she opened the door, I saw Katou-sensei standing there, mouth agape.

“Umm… this is… Kizaki-sensei’s place, right?”

His eyes met mine as I sat on the floor behind her.

“Ah, Kizaki-sensei! My family sent delicious summer mikan, so I thought I’d share… um, I’m Katou, your colleague…”

His face was beet red; he couldn’t look Ayase-san in the eye.

Because of the tickle fight, her clothes were disheveled.

Anybody would assume we’d been doing something naughty since morning.

Too strong a stimulus for a virgin, probably.

(What do I do!?)

While I panicked:

“M-Mikan, here you go! Sorry for bothering you!”

He practically shoved the bag at Ayase-san and sprinted away.

Total misunderstanding. This was bad if left alone.

He might blurt something out when drunk.

I scrambled to my feet to chase him.

“Wait, Katou-sensei! It’s a total misunderstanding…!”

Then Ayase-san hugged me from behind again.

“What misunderstanding? Shūgo and I are lovers—”

“Stop dropping the honorific!”

“…Muu—!”

I shook off the pouting Ayase-san and ran after Katou-sensei.

I ended up spinning a bunch of lies to cover it up.

Luckily (or perhaps naturally), he hadn’t recognized her—he’d never seen her out of uniform.

So, feeling a little guilty, I told him she was my cousin.

He believed me, wide-eyed.

Katou-sensei is too honest to suspect people—that’s one of his good points.

(Well, I do have a real cousin, so no problem there…)

I should probably tell Uzaki-san too, just in case.

If Katou-sensei ever saw Uzaki-san and this version of Ayase-san together, things could get messy.

Of course I’ll tell Ayase-san as well.

“But Kizaki-sensei, even cousins can get married, right?”

“That’s not what this is!”

Sigh… what a pain.

When I got back, Ayase-san was happily eating the mikan Katou-sensei had brought.

“Sensei, these are insanely good!”

“You’re way too relaxed after all that…”

I explained that Katou-sensei hadn’t recognized her and that I’d said “cousin.”

“Ehh, cousin? Hmm… that position might actually be useful for setting him up with Rena-chi…”

“Don’t cook up evil schemes!”

Good grief.

“Well, Uzaki-san has helped me a lot too, so I’d like them to work out… but no crazy stunts that get Katou-sensei fired, okay?”

“I know, I know.”

I really hope she does.

“Anyway, these mikan are amazing~ Want a segment? Say ah♡”

She dangled a piece in front of my face.

It did look fresh and delicious.

(Though her cleavage is way too distracting…)

The way her low-cut top showed off two very ripe fruits was impossible to ignore.

I looked away and chomped the mikan.

Munch munch.

“Yeah, really good.”

“Then one more♪”

This time she held it in her mouth, offering it like an indirect kiss.

My heart went doki.

“What are you thinking…”

“Couples do this, right? Twaining, twaining♪”

She was talking with the mikan in her mouth, so it came out all garbled.

But I understood perfectly.

“What are you really thinking…”

“Come on, quick~♡”

“…Good grief.”

I scratched my head, stared straight at her.

(Eh, for real…!?)

She looked flustered—if you’re gonna panic, don’t start this in the first place.

Thinking that, I reached out with my fingers—

—and shoved the mikan into her mouth.

“Wha…!?”

Her eyes went wide.

She swallowed it with a gulp.

“Why would you do that!? You meanie, Sensei!”

Cheeks puffed out, face bright red—she was adorable.

And that girl was definitely not the “Sakuran-san” I’d met on the app.

She was simply my cute, mischievous student, my occasional love-life coach, Tsukishima High School, Class 2-B, roll number 2, Ayase Sakura.

I repeated it to myself over and over in my head, as if to convince myself.

END