Chapter 3: A Step of Courage

1

“You’ll cheer for me, right, Mahiru-chan?”

Saying that, Asaka blushed with a shy smile, delicately clasping her hands together and casting her gaze diagonally downward.

Cheer?

For what?

Something swirled deep in my chest, twisting and turning. Cheering for Asaka and Yuu-nii to get along well…?

That swirling soon turned into something thick and murky, spreading through my entire body. A heavy, unpleasant sensation, almost like exhaustion, weighed me down.

I tried to imagine it.

Asaka and Yuu-nii becoming a couple, dating, getting married.

And me, listening to Asaka’s love troubles, giving advice, watching from the sidelines as they grow closer…

No way, that’s a joke.

Say it.

Just say it.

That I like Yuu-nii too.

But if I did, Asaka might let it slip to Yuu-nii. Unlike Asaka, who’s confessed seriously, I haven’t even told him how I feel.

I’ve been basking in the comfort of how things are now—“Yuu-nii’s finally back from Tokyo, playing silly games with Miya, and now that it’s summer break, with Asaka here, the four of us can keep having fun together forever,” I thought.

But nothing stays the same forever. Just like ten years ago when Yuu-nii suddenly left for Tokyo, nothing in this world is unchanging.

Say it, come on, say it.

“Haha, ahh… so that’s how it is, huh?”

“You totally get me, don’t you, Mahiru-chan? I guess it’s because we’ve been together since we were kids.”

Say it.

“No way, Yuu-nii…?”

“It’s a bit of a distance between Kanagawa and Shizuoka, but I plan to come back here as much as I can on my days off. So, Mahiru-chan, I’m counting on your help too, okay?”

Asaka said with a gentle smile.

Cold sweat broke out, and a chill ran through me. Yet, a burning sensation surged through my entire body.

I couldn’t even look Asaka in the face properly.

But if I let it show, she might think I’m shaken.

…Say it.

Come on, muster up some courage already.

Are you okay with Asaka taking Yuu-nii away like this?

If you regret it after it’s too late, like that sudden parting ten years ago, it’ll be no use crying then.

“…”

I tried my best to act calm and forced the words out.

“Do your best… haha..”

＊

“Waaahhh!”

“Hahaha, Onee, you’re hilarious!”

Back inside, Miya was being tackled by the dogs, getting licked all over.

“What are you doing, Miya?”

“Mahiru, help meee!”

“Alright, alright. Go wash up in the bath.”

I helped Miya up.

“Ugh, I’m all sticky!”

“What were you guys talking about?”

Yuu-nii asked, his face red. Looks like Mama got him pretty drunk.

“Oh, just some stuff.”

I glanced at Asaka, and she gave me a silent wink.

“Something about future plans, I guess… haha.”

“Got it. Whether it’s college or a job, I’ve got one piece of advice: enduring and effort aren’t the same thing.”

“What’s that, philosophy?”

“I’m saying always keep ‘running away’ as an option. Facing tough or painful things head-on is important, sure, but some things can’t be fixed with effort. Accepting unfairness isn’t effort. Sometimes, escaping is what matters. Otherwise, you’ll just drag it out forever.”

His tone was unusually serious.

“A drunk guy talking like that doesn’t exactly sell it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Hahaha!”

＊

The next day.

Another morning of volleyball practice. I showered, scarfed down a big breakfast, and headed out.

“I’m off!”

As I walked, yesterday’s events replayed in my mind.

I felt so pathetic. To think I’d force out “cheer” words I didn’t mean at all, swallowing my true feelings—what a weak girl I am.

Why can’t I take that one step of courage?

At this rate, Asaka and Yuu-nii might really end up together.

On my way to school, I passed Moonnight Terrace just as Asaka and Yuu-nii walked out together. They drank a lot yesterday, but they didn’t seem hungover, which was a relief.

“Morning!”

“Yo, Mahiru!”

“Morning, Mahiru-chan!”

“You guys going somewhere?”

“Yeah, Asaka suddenly wanted to hit up the zoo. It’s my day off, so we’re heading to Nihondaira Zoo.”

“Oh, wow. That’s pretty far…”

“I’d love for us all to go, but Miya-chan’s got cram school, and you’ve got practice, right? Such a shame.”

Asaka said that, but she looked secretly thrilled. Yuu-nii, despite what happened in Shonan, seemed oddly unguarded around her.

Asaka’s outfit was, as usual, pretty revealing: a white off-shoulder blouse, a short black skirt, a thin ribbon tie at her chest, and black ankle boots.

“Hey, Mahiru, want a ride to school?”

“Nah, I’m good. Walking’s better exercise…”

“You sure? Alright, I’ll grab the car.”

Yuu-nii jogged across the street to the parking lot.

“Mahiru-chan.”

Asaka leaned in close and whispered,

“Thanks.”

“…”

Did she think I was being considerate, staying out of their way to give them alone time?

“No, it’s not like that.”

“Hehe, good luck with practice, Mahiru-chan! I’ll bring you back a souvenir.”

“Oh, uh, thanks…”

After parting ways, I got to school and threw myself into practice to distract myself. I jumped, spiked the ball, dove, ran—no time to think about anything else.

But the moment I let my guard down, yesterday’s events crept back into my mind, growing bigger and bigger. If I’d just said I liked him back then, I wouldn’t be stuck with this uneasy feeling now.

Is it really okay to just let things keep going like this? To stay in this “helpful friend” role, cheering for their relationship?

Right now, they’re probably having a blast at the zoo. Knowing Asaka, she’s probably holding his hand or leaning in close.

It’s a zoo, so she can’t get too bold… but then again, it’s Asaka.

“Oi, Ryuushaku, don’t space out!”

The coach’s scolding snapped me back.

“Ah, yes! Sorry!”

“Mahhi, you okay?”

During a break, Kaori asked with concern.

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired from yesterday, that’s all.”

I’m the captain. I can’t let my personal issues drag down the team’s morale.

“Alright, let’s get loud!”

“Yesss!”

“Yesss!”

“Yesss!”

But that day, I couldn’t focus at all.

2

‘Approaching your destination.’

The GPS’s robotic voice chimed in.

“Almost there.”

It took just under an hour from Fujinomiya to reach Nihondaira Zoo. Asaka’s sudden urge to visit the zoo brought us here.

For Shizuoka locals, Nihondaira Zoo is the zoo. I used to come here with family as a kid. Last time was probably in sixth grade—sixteen, seventeen years ago?

“Oh, Yuu-nii, you can’t enter from there!”

“Huh? Oh, you’re right.”

The right-turn entry to the parking lot was blocked off.

“You’ve gotta loop around.”

“Looks like it.”

Things have changed since way back. Time shifts systems, I guess. We circled around to the parking lot. It was only 9:30, but being a Sunday, it was already pretty packed—families, young couples, elderly pairs, even a lone middle-aged guy. Quite the mix.

“Nice weather, huh?”

Asaka stretched big as she got out of the car.

“Not cold?”

Her outfit was bold as ever: off-shoulder blouse, short skirt, her pale skin on full display. Honestly, it’s a lot to take in.

“Not at all… oh, maybe a little chilly.”

With that, Asaka snuggled up to my arm.

“H-hey!”

“Ehehe!”

Her softness pressed against my elbow, and memories of that night in Shonan started rushing back, so I locked eyes on some random guy walking ahead.

“Asaka, it’s hard to walk like this.”

“Fiiine.”

She let go but grabbed my hand instead. Well, this much is fine, I guess.

“…What is this place?”

I stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the scene before me.

The picture in my memory didn’t match what I was seeing.

The entrance gate, once decorated with a red panda, was now a sleek, modern, angular design. A glossy black sign reading “Nihondaira Zoo” stood out front. It felt more like an art museum than a zoo.

“Yuu-nii, what’s wrong?”

“It’s just… different from last time.”

“Oh, when was that?”

“Like, 2006.”

“…That’s not ‘last time,’ that’s ancient history. I think it got a big renovation right after you left for Tokyo.”

“Seriously?!”

I had no idea. We paid the entrance fee and passed through the gate, only for me to be shocked again.

“W-what, no flamingos?”

There used to be a flamingo area right at the entrance. Now it’s some other building.

“That’s the red panda pavilion now.”

“Red… panda… pavilion?”

“It’s the zoo’s big attraction. Wanna save the best for last? Let’s go, Yuu-nii!”

We headed left, and soon, a cage with apes came into view on our left.

“Chimpanzees are so cute, right?”

“Cute…?”

I’ve heard adult chimps can get pretty aggressive.

“Oh, the human cage!”

That was still here, just like I remembered. Seeing a familiar sight, I let out a relieved sigh.

In the ape area, there’s an unmanned cage set up among the others. It’s designed so people can enter, and just like the other animals, a plate labeled “Human” is attached in front of the cage.

It’s a display laced with irony and wit, letting visitors experience what it’s like to be a zoo animal as a “Human.”

“Yuu-nii, why don’t you go inside for a bit?”

“Sure thing.”

Asaka, looking through the bars, seems oddly exhilarated, her face practically glowing.

“I’m gonna take a picture, so strike a pose or something!”

“Alright… here we go.”

I grab the bars and stretch out my hands.

“Let me out of here!” I say, half-joking.

“Hehe!”

Click! The shutter snaps. When I check the photo, it looks like I’m genuinely locked up in a prison cell.

We start walking again.

“By the way, I’ve been wondering since earlier… where’s the lion?”

I’m pretty sure there was a lion area just past the ape section, around the corner. But now, it’s been replaced by a stark white building.

“Beast House… 299?”

“They say all the ferocious animals are displayed inside that building now.”

“Huh, wanna check it out?”

Inside, there are polar bears, harbor seals, lions, and Amur tigers on display.

What’s surprising is the structure—open atriums and glass walls let you view the animals from different floors. It’s designed so you can observe them from all sorts of angles.

Still, putting meerkats right next to a lion… bold move.

“Oh, look, a jaguar!”

“Whoa, it just leaped!”

The jaguar enclosure has a fenced walkway that juts out into the exhibit, letting you get up close. Sometimes, the jaguar even climbs onto the fence, so you can look up at it from below.

“That’s some serious intensity.”

“It’s… kinda scary.”

The black jaguar crouches on the fence, letting out low, rumbling growls. Asaka, maybe spooked, clings to my arm.

“Ready to move on?”

“Y-Yes.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Uh, could you let go already?”

“No way.”

We leave Beast House 299 and return to the main path. While there are new facilities and exhibits, the overall layout of the zoo hasn’t changed much from before. Still, the sights feel fresh, and though I came here hoping to relive some nostalgia, there’s a pang of loneliness creeping in.

“There used to be a huge birdcage over there, right?”

The giant aviary, where all sorts of birds were free to fly and you could walk among them, is gone now.

“The Flying Megadome? That’s further ahead.”

“Flying… Megadome?”

The unfamiliar term throws my brain for a loop.

“It’s a big dome. The flamingos are there too. Look, over there.”

Asaka points to a massive wire mesh structure in the distance. I’d noticed it earlier, but that’s what it was?

Almost everything we see is new, with barely any trace of my old memories. If anything’s stayed the same, it’s probably just the elephant area.

“Huh? No giraffes?”

The area where giraffes used to be is completely empty, with no sign of any animals.

“The last giraffe passed away last year.”

“I see…”

I remember being licked by a giraffe’s tongue over the fence when I was a kid.

“Man, things have really changed.”

But what shocks me most comes after we finish eating at the rest house.

“Wait, what?”

The area next to the rest house used to be a small amusement park.

Go-karts, coin-operated mini-attractions, a merry-go-round, a beetle-themed coaster, a train ride, a rocket-shaped swing ride…

It might seem odd to have an amusement park at a zoo, but as a kid, this was the highlight of my visits. The go-karts, especially, were my favorite—they made me feel like I was driving a real car.

But that beloved amusement park has been replaced by something called the “Petting Zoo,” a farm-like area.

“Looks like you can interact with animals here… Yuu-nii?”

A hollow sense of loss washes over me, like a hole’s been carved out in my chest.

So this is it.

The fear Asaka had about losing memories. The pain of having them overwritten. I finally understand it clearly now.

I can never visit that amusement park from my memories again.

All I can do is look back on it as a memory. And I finally get how painful that is.

“Yuu-nii? Are you feeling okay?”

I snap back to reality and find Asaka looking at me with concern, standing close.

“Nah, I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

“Okay…”

Kids run past us, laughing and shouting with joy. For them, this place will become their memory, their scenery.

Nothing stays the same forever.

Change is what brings growth, after all.

“…Alright, let’s go. Oh, look, you can hold a rabbit!”

“Yes!”

*

The last stop is the Red Panda Pavilion.

Apparently, Nihondaira Zoo is famous as a red panda sanctuary. Even the legendary red panda Fuuta, who took Japan by storm with his hind-leg standing, was born right here.

Layout-wise, this is probably the first building visitors are meant to see. We might be the only ones hitting it up last.

Despite the name, the Red Panda Pavilion isn’t just for red pandas. There are skeletal displays and taxidermy animals too. The walls have a timeline of Nihondaira Zoo’s history, giving the place a museum-like vibe.

In the center of the spacious hall is a massive elephant skeleton, belonging to a female elephant named Shanti who once lived here. It hits me—there used to be two elephants in my memories. One of them was already gone.

To think I’d reunite with a memory like this…

“Yuu-nii?”

“Hm?”

“Oh, right, we’re here to see the red pandas.”

“They’re over there.”

At the back of the hall is the area where the red pandas are kept.

“Aww, they’re so cute!”

“Yeah.”

It might be rude to say, but their cuteness is so overwhelming it’s hard to imagine them surviving in the wild. Fluffy brown fur, big round eyes. Their clumsy vibe reminds me a bit of Miya.

“Oh, it fell!”

Their waddling walk is adorable too.

“Hey, Yuu-nii.”

“What’s up?”

“What should we name our kid?”

“…Huh?”

Did I hear that right?

Our kid’s name?

What’s she suddenly talking about?

“Since we’re here, how about combining our names? Like Yuuka?”

“W-Wait, what are you saying?”

We’re not even married—or dating, for that matter—and she’s jumping to baby names? That’s a leap!

Wait, no, could it be… that night in Shonan? Did something actually happen?

No, no, that’s impossible. It was just an attempt—nothing actually happened.

Or… wait.

Am I just convincing myself nothing happened? Did we actually…?!

Am I… no longer a virgin?

“Oh no, oh no, oh no!”

Forget that—what if the world finds out I got a high school girl pregnant?!

“Asaka, I’ll take responsibility!”

I grab her shoulders.

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Asaka looks up at me, puzzled, tilting her head.

“What?”

“Yuu-nii, I’m talking about the baby’s name.”

“Yeah, I know, but—”

“Over there.”

She points to a corner with a sign that reads “Name募集 for the Red Panda Baby.” Apparently, they’re holding a public contest to name a female red panda cub born last month.

“Oh…”

“Hehe, what were you imagining?”

Asaka smirks at me, her eyes glinting mischievously.

“N-Nothing! Haha, a red panda name, huh? How about ‘Letts’? Haha, yeah!”

“…Yuu-nii?”

“Alright, let’s do another lap!”

And so, we enjoyed every last corner of Nihondaira Zoo to the fullest.

*

Hmmm, so he’d take responsibility if I actually got pregnant, huh?

That’s good to know.

Hehehe.

3

It’s already evening, but the sky’s still blue. The heat lingers, and it’ll take a bit longer for summer to fully give way to fall.

“Hey there!”

I swing by Moonnight Terrace after school, as usual.

“Oh, Miya-chan, welcome!”

The auntie’s cleaning the terrace seats. When I step inside, Yuu-nii shows up.

“Yo, Miya.”

“Yuu-nii, can I head up to your room?”

“Go for it.”

Lately, when I stop by Moonnight Terrace, I usually hang out in Yuu-nii’s room. Down in the café, I end up chatting too much with the auntie or bantering with Yuu-nii, and I can’t focus on studying.

His room, though? It’s quiet, just me, with a bed to crash on when I’m tired and games to play when I’m bored. It’s the perfect setup.

“Oh, iced café au lait, please!”

“Got it.”

I place my order and dash up the stairs.

“Phew!”

The moment I step into the room, I dive onto the bed. The way it sinks under me feels so good. Yuu-nii’s bold, comforting scent seeps into my tired body.

“Haa…”

We had volleyball in PE today, and my whole body’s aching. All that jumping, diving, and falling—how does Mahiru manage those intense moves every day? Smacking the ball hurts my wrists, and the hard floor stings when I fall. Beach volleyball’s more than enough for me.

“Ughh…”

I’m getting sleepy. I rest my head on the pillow and lie on my back. After rolling around on the bed for a bit, Yuu-nii walks in.

“Here’s your café au lait… Wait, aren’t you supposed to be studying?”

“I’m about to start!”

“Then get to it already.”

Yuu-nii sets the glass on the table.

“Oh, right. I’ll give you the souvenir from yesterday.”

Yuu-nii is rummaging through a paper bag in the corner of the room. Come to think of it, he mentioned yesterday that he went to Nihondaira Zoo with Asaka. I burst out laughing when Asaka sent me a photo of Yuu-nii locked in a cage with the message, Caught him! ☆

“Here, cookies.”

The packaging has cute animal designs printed on it.

“Thanks. Can I open them now?”

“Go for it.”

They’re perfect as a snack with my café au lait.

“Man, I’m so jealous! I wanted to go to the zoo too!”

It’s been years since I last went to a zoo. And going just the two of them? It’s practically a date! I’m so jealous of Asaka.

“It was a last-minute thing. You and Mahiru had plans, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

I mean, it’s one thing if it’s nearby, but there’s no way I could suddenly make time to go all the way to Shizuoka City. I can’t help but wonder if Asaka planned it that way, springing the idea on him out of nowhere.

“Well, I’ll take you guys next time.”

Lately, it feels like all I’ve been doing is studying for exams, with barely any time to hang out. During summer break, I had some free time even with studying, so I could go places and have fun. But once school starts, half the day is just… gone.

Mahiru’s got club activities until late every day, and Asaka’s all the way in Kanagawa, so we can’t meet up. Weekends are the only time I get to hang out with everyone…

Ugh, summer break was so great. The pool, camping, the Shonan trip—so many fun events. I used to hate summer because of the heat and sweat, but now I’m actually missing it.

“…Haah.”

“What’s up? You that desperate to go to the zoo?”

“It’s not that! It’s just… I haven’t been able to hang out with you and the others much lately.”

“Didn’t we just throw Mahiru’s birthday party the day before yesterday?”

Yuu-nii lets out a sigh, like he’s dealing with a kid.

“That’s not what I mean!”

I flop around on the bed in frustration.

“I’m sick of just studying! I don’t need a big trip or anything, I just wanna go somewhere!”

“Alright, alright. I’ll take you somewhere later, okay?”

“Really? Yay!”

“You’re right, though. Gotta take a breather every now and then.”

“Exactly!”

I hop off the bed and spread my study materials out on the table, taking a sip of my café au lait to get some caffeine in my system.

“So good!”

Now I’m pumped to study!

“If you want a refill, go get it yourself.”

“Got it!”

After that, I dive into studying hard. By the time I’m done, it’s past seven in the evening. I decide to grab dinner with Yuu-nii, hopping into the passenger seat of his car.

“Where to?”

“I kinda overdid it with the cookies, so something light sounds good.”

Between studying, I was snacking on cookies with my drink, so honestly, I’m not that hungry.

“How about some soba then?”

“Yes, please!”

At the soba shop, I order zaru soba, and Yuu-nii gets tempura soba. The smooth, slippery texture and light flavor feel gentle on my stomach.

“This is so good.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, by the way, I submitted it!”

The mystery novel we wrote together—after finishing the final edits and checking for typos yesterday, I dropped it off at the post office this morning before heading to Moonnight Terrace.

“Wonder how it’ll turn out. I’m getting kinda nervous already.”

Yuu-nii takes a sip of water, fidgeting a bit.

“Yeah, same. But everyone was raving about it, so maybe it’ll do pretty well… hopefully?”

Even Seina-chan, who’s usually super critical, and the rest of the Mystery Club were all saying how awesome it was.

“Miya, you’re fidgeting too much.”

“You’re one to talk, Yuu-nii!”

It’s my first time submitting something to a contest like this.

“Hey, speaking of… wanna do it again?”

“Do what?”

“Write another mystery together.”

Yuu-nii pauses mid-slurp of his soba.

“Let’s do it!”

“Yeah, maybe. What kind should we write this time?”

“Gotta go with a classic locked-room mystery. I don’t care if people call it old-fashioned!”

“Right?”

“Yuu-nii, come up with another cool trick.”

“I’ll handle the tricks, and you handle the writing. Kinda feels like we’re Ellery Queen, huh?”

“Oh, you’re right! Hey, which of Queen’s books is your favorite?”

“Hmm, it’s cliché, but probably The Tragedy of Y.”

“Ooh.”

“What about you, Miya?”

“Me? I’d say—”

And so, we keep chatting about mysteries while enjoying our dinner.

“Alright, time to head out.”

“Thanks for the meal!”

After dinner, we decide to go for Bingo a night drive.

It’s getting late, so we can’t go too far, but Miya’s been worn out from all the studying. I figure she could use a change of pace, so I steer the car toward Mount Fuji.

“Where are we going?”

“Just a quick trip to Mount Fuji.”

“Are we climbing it?”

“As if!”

I take the bypass to the mountain road, driving straight up the slope. We stop at a vending machine to grab drinks and keep climbing. The farther we get from the city, the fewer houses and streetlights there are, and the darkness grows thicker.

“It’s getting, like, really dark.”

Miya shrinks into her seat, looking a bit nervous.

“It’s fine. I’m right here.”

Once we hit the Mount Fuji Skyline, the car’s headlights are our only guide. The trees, vibrant and green in the daytime, look like shadowy monsters in the night’s darkness.

We wind up the zigzagging road until a cleared slope opens up on the left. The forest has been cut away here, giving a clear view of Fujinomiya’s cityscape—a spot I highly recommend.

I came here with Asaka during summer break for lunch. That was during the day, but now it’s almost eight o’clock at night.

I pull over to the side of the road, and we step out. As expected, the view has transformed into a dazzling nightscape, with countless lights twinkling in the darkness.

“Wow, it’s beautiful!”

“Yeah.”

Thinking about how each of those lights represents someone’s life feels strangely profound. The sky’s a bit cloudy, which makes the city lights stand out even more.

A cool night breeze blows, rustling the trees.

“Yuu-nii.”

Miya sidles a little closer.

“Feeling refreshed?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Miya looks up at me like she wants to say something, but when our eyes meet, she quickly looks down.

It’s too dark to read her expression.

“What’s up?”

“Oh… um, do you come here a lot?”

“Sometimes. Like after work, I’ll come for a drive. I brought Asaka here once too.”

“Hmm.”

“Though that was during the day.”

“!”

Miya turns her gaze to the nightscape.

“So, I’m the first one to see this night view with you?”

“Guess so.”

“Hehe, nice!”

Miya grins, clearly pleased. Always so competitive about being the first, this kid. We linger for a bit, soaking in the night view.

“Ready to head back?”

“Yup.”

I chug the rest of my canned coffee, and we hop back in the car.