Chapter 36: Spring Thunder

♠♠♠

It’s during lunch break, in the clubroom.

Tachibana-san opens the window wide, gazing out at the courtyard.

It’s February, yet it feels warm like spring. The breeze blowing in is lukewarm.

Under the cloudy sky, a senior guy and girl are sitting on a bench in the courtyard.

“Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai?”

When I ask, Tachibana-san replies lazily, “Yeah.”

Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai were last year’s winners of the cultural festival couple championship. They’re the pair who earned the jinx of getting married in the future, and Tachibana-san loves watching them.

“Hey, Shirou-kun, did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai act differently when they’re alone, compared to at school.”

The image is of playful Nakayama-senpai being reined in by dependable Ookura-senpai. But—

“Outside school, Nakayama-senpai isn’t goofy at all—he’s reliable, and Ookura-senpai follows him, acting all clingy.”

“Now that you mention it, that makes sense.”

“It’s the best, right?”

In the courtyard, Nakayama-senpai, as usual, tries to touch Ookura-senpai’s chest—rumored to be the best in the girls’ volleyball team—and gets his hand slapped away. But when they’re alone, it must be different.

“Anyway, Tachibana-san—”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Shirou-kun, you don’t have to do anything. Hayasaka-san and I will talk and decide.”

Tachibana-san keeps staring at the courtyard with a melancholic expression.

Lately, it’s been like this all the time.

Tachibana-san is properly playing the role of Yanagi-senpai’s girlfriend until his graduation. The other day, when Yanagi-senpai played in a casual soccer match, she went to the sports park to cheer him on. Since there are rules, Hayasaka-san and I tagged along too.

Tachibana-san watched the field through the net.

Yanagi-senpai gave up soccer due to an injury. But he decided quitting just because he couldn’t play well wasn’t right. He’s started working hard, aiming for a comeback in college.

A normal girl might be moved and want to support him by his side. But that’s not what Tachibana-san wants. In fact, she doesn’t want anything from Yanagi-senpai.

Her detached act of handing him a towel and sports drink felt cruel.

She also went to cheer him on at his college entrance exam venue, saying, “Do your best.” Those words must have rung hollow.

In the photos sent to me, Yanagi-senpai’s expression showed resignation and lingering regret.

We all knew it. Everything has reached a breaking point.

If we don’t act soon, we’ll just keep hurting each other.

At some point, in a reckless mood, I told Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san that maybe we should just end it all.

The next day after school, they called me to the clubroom.

It was a freezing day.

The two of them, dressed in the maid outfits they brought back from the mansion, sat on the sofa holding hands.

“We’re super close.”

“If we don’t act like this, Kirishima-kun will run away, right? He doesn’t want to think he’s the cause of our fights. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy, because he’s a jerk.”

“No, Shirou-kun’s just weak.”

We’re besties, so it’s fine. Don’t run away.

That’s what they said.

When I said their “besties” act was a stretch, they hugged each other and started kissing.

See? Look, we’re close.

You like this kind of thing, don’t you?

Tachibana-san was the passive one. They kissed and groped each other. When it was over, all that remained were two girls panting on the sofa, exhausted, and the low hum of the air conditioner.

There was a pleasant scent of decadence.

As a single frame of a film, it was undeniably beautiful, but it had no continuity or future. In other words, it had no tomorrow.

From that day, Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san started acting friendly on the surface again.

But after such an explosive fight, there’s no going back. It’s like an old wound that aches every time it rains, something that’ll stay with them forever.

I have no choice but to make a decisive move.

So, I say:

“Tachibana-san, I need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Tachibana-san keeps looking down at the courtyard.

“We could be like that too.”

To Tachibana-san, Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai are the ideal. A couple who won the championship, recognized as lovey-dovey by the whole school, unbreakable by anyone. But—

“I want to be like them.”

Right after Tachibana-san says this—

Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai stand up from the bench. They look even more mature than typical third-year high schoolers. And their conversation carries on the wind.

“So, should we call it quits today?”

“Yeah. Dragging it out until graduation feels too dramatic.”

“Good luck out there.”

Tachibana-san silently closes the window.

With an expression sharp as a cold blade, she says:

“Shirou-kun, let’s go.”

♠♠♠

Under a sky threatening rain, we walk along the riverbank on top of the embankment.

Our classmates are probably in class right now.

Let’s go.

After saying that, Tachibana-san left the clubroom, put on her loafers at the shoe lockers, and walked out of school.

I told her it’s lunch break, but she just said, “Who cares?”

Worried she might disappear somewhere, I’ve been by her side ever since.

We’ve been walking on the embankment for nearly an hour, and my legs are exhausted.

“Where are we going?”

Tachibana-san glances at me and says:

“Somewhere far.”

It sounds reckless, but it’s not entirely aimless.

“Let’s elope.”

She says, grabbing my hand.

“I already know everything.”

She realized it when we set the rotation, when she heard that Hayasaka-san loved Yanagi-senpai but settled for me because it seemed impossible.

“I’m the one you love most, right, Shirou-kun?”

She continues, saying she knows I won’t admit it:

“While you were doing stuff with Hayasaka-san, you couldn’t let her go, could you? And you felt bad for Yanagi-kun, didn’t you?”

Yeah. If Tachibana-san had told me she loved me before Hayasaka-san and I got together as second choices, and if Yanagi-senpai had been drawn to Hayasaka-san, the puzzle would’ve fit perfectly.

But our feelings are fickle and have changed.

And now, we’re stuck. So—

“We should just elope.”

That way, we can ignore all the complications around us. We could be together as each other’s number one, without worrying about anyone else. That’s what Tachibana-san means.

“It’ll be tough, though.”

Tachibana-san plans to head to a small, rustic port town.

“First, we’ll rent a tiny apartment. One with a view of the sea from the window.”

She says she’ll earn the money.

“I’ll work at an inn or a diner, something like that.”

Tachibana-san in a maid-like uniform might actually suit her.

“If I can’t get hired, I’ll pour drinks at a bar or something. So, Shirou-kun, you can focus on studying without working.”

I’d aim for a high school equivalency exam and then college entrance, she says.

“Until you graduate college, I’ll handle our living expenses. Once you get a job, let me take it easy, okay?”

Tachibana-san even talks about our daily life.

“Every morning, I’ll wake you up with the sound of me making miso soup.”

“I can’t imagine you being a morning person.”

Tachibana-san glares at me sharply, so I shut up.

“We’ll sleep in the same futon, and I’ll be happy. I’ll work hard on housework, but sometimes you’ll get drunk and kick me.”

“Hey.”

“You’ll take the money I earn and go out to have fun. Even if I beg you to stop, you’ll hit me, and I’ll collapse on the floor.”

“You’ve got quite the imagination.”

“Since I feel guilty for making you elope, I’ll keep apologizing even when you kick or hit me, and I’ll wait alone in the room, crying, for you to come back after taking my money.”

“I wouldn’t do anything that awful.”

“Really?”

“If it came to that, I’d do things properly.”

“Then we could be happy.”

Tachibana-san looks slightly happy for a moment before returning to her cold profile. Her eyes seem to hold a quiet resolve.

“That’s wrong.”

She says, staring straight ahead.

“Breaking up when you love each other is absolutely wrong.”

She’s talking about Nakayama-senpai and Ookura-senpai. From their courtyard conversation, it seems they decided to break up for the sake of their future goals. Nakayama-senpai mentioned going overseas. They judged that a long-distance relationship would be a burden, and it’s better to focus on their studies or, for Ookura-senpai, training for a professional volleyball team.

It’s mature.

If someone were to sacrifice their future for a teenage romance, anyone would tell them to stop.

But—

“That’s not happiness at all. Working hard, achieving your dreams, but the person you love isn’t by your side anymore—that’s not what I want.”

Achieving goals, becoming a successful adult, and finding a wonderful partner suited to that version of yourself is a very practical path to happiness.

In time, Tachibana-san’s perspective might change.

But she’s seventeen, a girl with a glass-like sensitivity, and this is everything to her.

We keep walking until our legs are exhausted.

The scenery changes, and it almost feels like we could reach the melancholic port town Tachibana-san envisions.

But then the sky darkens, and thunder begins to rumble.

Rain starts falling in scattered drops.

Tachibana-san presses her lips tightly and keeps walking.

Her pace quickens, and just as she seems about to break into a run, she stops and says through gritted teeth:

“I’m such a kid.”

As Tachibana-san starts crying, the rain pours down.

“I kept thinking I had to go back before the rain started.”

Her face crumples as she tries to hold it in but can’t, sobbing through her tears.

It’s a cry of frustration.

In the end, eloping was completely unrealistic.

When I was fifteen, I tried running away from home to live on my own.

It was inspired by a novel. Like the protagonist, I did sit-ups to train my body, planned to take a bus far away, and decided to work at a small private library. I packed a backpack and bought a bus ticket. But that was it. I just watched the bus leave from the terminal.

I think that was for the best. I now know there’s no such thing as a private library that would hire a fifteen-year-old boy. There’s probably no port town like the one Tachibana-san imagines either.

I take Tachibana-san’s rain-soaked hand and head back the way we came.

We can’t go anywhere.

By the time we reach the school, the rain has stopped, and the sky is clear. Tachibana-san returns to the clubroom, dries her hair with a towel, changes into gym clothes, and goes home.

Maybe I should’ve cried with her. But I couldn’t. That makes me a little sad.

The night of the day Tachibana-san cried over her own powerlessness, I went to cram school as usual and studied with Hayasaka-san for college entrance exams.

After class, I checked my phone and saw a message from Tachibana-san.

It said she’d taken a credit card from Rei-san’s wallet, grabbed some cash from home, found a live-in job at an inn in a hot spring town, and booked a ticket for a night train.

The night train leaves Ueno at 11:30 p.m. today.

Tachibana-san says she’s waiting at Ueno Park.

If Shirou-kun doesn’t come, I’ll disappear alone.

That’s what she wrote.

♠♠♠

8:15 p.m.

With less than three hours until the night train departs, I’m wandering aimlessly through the bustling city.

I don’t know how serious Tachibana-san is.

Either way, if I don’t go, it feels like she’ll disappear for good. She believes so strongly in her fleeting emotions.

I feel filthy for not crying with her and going to cram school with a normal face.

There are countless excuses for not going to the station.

“You can’t.”

As we left the cram school, Hayasaka-san, sensing something, spoke up.

“Kirishima-kun, you’re my boyfriend. You chose me.”

When we broke the no-sneaking rule, and during the game at the mansion, you chose me, Hayasaka-san says.

“Tachibana-san’s no good. She’s too reckless—she’ll ruin you someday, Kirishima-kun.”

And come to my house now, let’s eat together, she says. My mom wants to see you.

Even when I said tonight’s impossible, Hayasaka-san wouldn’t listen.

“I’ll wait! Even until morning, I’ll wait!”

Saying she had to prepare, she waved and left first.

And now, unsure what to do, I’m just wandering the city.

If I don’t go to Ueno Station, Tachibana-san will be ruined. But if I do, it feels like Tachibana-san and I will just ruin ourselves together. A dead-end future with only the two of us.

If I don’t go, I can see a future with Hayasaka-san, living as ordinary lovers.

But doing that would clearly hurt Tachibana-san beyond recovery. She’s throwing everything away, waiting for me.

Tachibana-san is saying, let’s ruin ourselves together, just the two of us.

I think she’s similar to Hayasaka-san. Hayasaka-san wanted to wreck herself with me and destroyed her school life. It wasn’t just about losing her good-girl reputation and pure image—she even cultivated the opposite persona.

The other day, some guy called her to the hallway. I thought she was getting confessed to again, watching from the clubroom, but after she turned him down, he hurled vulgar insults at her. Acting all high and mighty, huh? That was his real intent.

“It’s fine. I’ve got Kirishima-kun. As long as you’re with me, I’m good.”

When I checked on her later, she smiled and said that.

“My SNS gets tons of creepy replies. Anonymous DMs too, lots of them. Stuff like, let’s do a threesome.”

Hayasaka-san, now my official girlfriend, is stable. But when she gets unsteady, she never stops talking about selling herself short.

“If Kirishima-kun doesn’t choose me? Like I said before, I’d just give myself to whoever wants me. I’d be worthless. But ugh, it’d suck if my first time was with a bunch of guys at once.”

I think both of them are too much for me.

Love is treated like it’s always a positive, like it’s okay to go overboard, but they throw it at me while hurting themselves, and I’m about to be crushed.

While thinking this, less than three hours remain until the night train departs, and I’m freaking out.

The city lights start to blur.

Then, in the crowd, I spot a familiar face. I flash a peace sign with both hands.

“Kirishima, huh?”

It’s Sakai. Her hair’s up, glasses off—beauty mode. She might’ve been on a date.

“What’s up? You look way too hyped.”

“Perfect timing. I need to ask you something, Sakai.”

“That’s sudden.”

I tell her. About Tachibana-san’s glass-shard sensitivity stabbing at my throat, forcing me to make a choice in a few hours.

At a quieter alley, Sakai stops walking.

“Wow……”

“Maybe it’s not a big deal? They’re both heated now, but with time, they’ll cool off. Even if I reject them, it won’t affect them much. They’re both super popular, so even if I hurt them badly, they’ll bounce back with minimal damage, right……?”

“You’re so desperate to escape~”

Sakai laughs playfully, stepping closer until our noses almost touch.

“You can hug me.”

“Huh?”

“Just do it.”

I hug Sakai. Her sweet scent and soft, unexpectedly full figure contrast with her stylish look.

“Wanna kiss too?”

I kiss Sakai’s thin lips.

“How’s it compared to Akane or Tachibana-san?”

Be honest, she says, so I answer.

“It feels…… different somehow.”

Sakai is undeniably attractive, and the old me would’ve been over the moon. Her allure might make my head spin, but it lacks the heat I feel when I’m with Hayasaka-san or Tachibana-san.

“You’ve probably fallen for someone for real, Kirishima.”

Not just for show, Sakai says.

“You might never meet anyone who makes you feel like Akane or Tachibana-san do.”

Maybe. And Sakai says it’s the same for Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san.

“So you’ve got no choice but to act, Kirishima.”

It’s cruel, Sakai whispers in my ear.

If you don’t choose them—

“Tachibana-san might never love anyone again. She could stop smiling forever. If that’s the best-case scenario, it’s lucky. It could get more tragic. She’s so reckless.”

Stop it, don’t corner me like this.

“Akane would definitely sell herself cheap. Lots of girls do that—sleep around to dilute the value of the one precious love they lost, convincing themselves it wasn’t a big deal. Akane’s got plenty of takers, so she’d rack up numbers fast. Guys looking for fun, rich old men—they’d all swarm her. She might get snagged by a bad guy and turned into a pet.”

What do you do?

Sakai’s words make me think there’s nothing I can do, but I have to do something, yet there’s really nothing I can do. I collapse to the ground, crying with all my strength.

“Ongyaah~! Ongyaah~! Ongyaah~!”

I thrash around, flailing my limbs, but that solves nothing. Desperate to escape, I cry harder.

“Hogyaah~! Hogyaah~! Hogyaah~!”

Sakai finds it hilarious, and I think, let time stop here, let me stay like this forever.

“Coolest Kirishima moment ever. There, there, there, there~”

Sakai sticks her finger in my mouth, so I suck on it.

“But playing the victim isn’t cool. You loved being adored by two girls, didn’t you?”

Yes, I nod.

It felt amazing.

“The heavier their love got, the more you wanted, right?”

Yes, I nod.

Being loved is a terrifyingly intense pleasure.

“Were you happy when a girl who doesn’t smile smiled just for you?”

I was happy.

I felt superior to other guys, even Yanagi-senpai.

“Was it fun molding a romantic kid to your colors?”

It was the best.

“Did it feel good when everyone’s pure idol got wild just for you?”

That superiority was also the best.

“How did it feel when that pure girl got called a slut or easy because of you?”

I felt guilty, but somehow, it was thrilling.

“What was it like watching them go crazier and crazier?”

It was beautiful.

“What a scum~”

Sakai laughs.

Sure, I’m full of scummy feelings. But. But—

“I really love them both and want them to be happy. That feeling is real, and it’s almost everything.”

But I can’t make it happen.

I cling to Sakai’s shoes.

“Sakai, kill me…… Waaah, bwaaah…… Kill me.”

But Sakai says, “No way.” and smacks my forehead.

“If anyone’s gonna kill you, it’ll be Akane or Tachibana-san.”

“Don’t jinx it.”

“Come on, get up. No time to lie around.”

Choose tonight, Sakai says.

“You can make the call, Kirishima.”

“How do you know?”

“You’ll pick the broken one. The weaker one. That’s the kind of guy you are.”

I do have that tendency.

Following it, I knew who I’d choose. And I was okay with that.

I part ways with Sakai and head to Ueno Park, the meeting spot.

No matter who I choose, I can’t let Tachibana-san board that night train.

Tachibana-san must know too. The 11:30 p.m. train isn’t bound for paradise.

I board the Yamanote Line heading to Ueno. The nighttime skyscrapers, the glow of bars. Idly checking my phone, I see news about cherry blossoms blooming. It’s been warm lately. The first bloom on this February day in over a decade.

Scrolling through timelines with night cherry blossom photos, I reach the station.

Rushing through the gate, I get lightheaded. It lasts longer than usual, and I realize I’m on the ground. My temple hurts. I try to stand but fall again. I can’t tell up from down. I’m trying to get up, but my face keeps pressing into the floor.

I don’t understand.

The surrounding noise sounds so distant.

Someone’s shouting, Ambulance, ambulance!

No, the place I need to go isn’t a hospital—it’s where Tachibana-san is waiting, alone.

But my body won’t move, my vision grows spotty, and it gets darker and darker.

The last image in my mind is Tachibana-san standing alone as cherry blossoms scatter.

♠♠♠

When I wake, I’m lying in a bed.

White ceiling, white curtains, white blankets—I know it’s a hospital. Hayasaka-san is sitting in a chair by the bed, her head resting on my knee, asleep.

When I stir, she looks up. Her face is puffy from crying.

“Thank goodness!”

Seeing me awake, she grabs my hand.

“I was so worried.”

“Hayasaka-san, you’re drooling.”

“I’ll call the doctor. Oh, and your mom and sister are here too.”

“You wiped your drool on my sleeve, didn’t you?”

“Ehehe.”

What happened to me doesn’t seem too serious. My mom and sister got bored and went to the convenience store, apparently.

The cause was hitting my head at Tokyo Station.

“Something about pressure inside the skull? The doctor said…… um…… well……”

“You don’t really remember, huh?”

“A-anyway, they gave you an IV, so you’re fine now!”

I see a tube connected to my arm.

“I’m mad at you.”

Hayasaka-san says.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing a doctor?”

“I didn’t want to worry you……”

As we talk, I feel the blood drain from my face.

“What time is it?”

“Huh?”

“The time.”

A clock hangs on the hospital room wall.

It’s 3 a.m.

As I try to leap out of bed—

“You can’t go!”

Hayasaka-san shrieks, clinging to me to stop me.

“If you go to Tachibana-san, you’ll break someday, Kirishima-kun.”

Value yourself more.

She holds on tightly, refusing to let go.

I notice my phone on the bedside table. Picking it up, I see multiple missed calls from Tachibana-san, but they stop after 1 a.m.

I go limp and collapse back onto the bed. It’s over, I think.

I picture Tachibana-san, travel bag in hand, turning her back.

In the morning, a message arrives on my phone.

Goodbye.