Chapter 24: The Beautiful Asura

♧♧♧

On a weekend afternoon, I was summoned by Kunimi-san and found myself at a standing bar near Ueno Station.

The menu, written in messy handwriting, is plastered on the wall. A simple table is made from a board placed on stacked beer crates, and the live commentary of horse racing and the clamor of the crowd serve as background music.

“Drinking beer in the middle of the day? The epitome of a degenerate college student right here.”

“Wanna drink too, Kirishima?”

“No way. I’m a high schooler, you know.”

“Such a kid~”

I thought standing bars were more of an old man’s domain, but seeing a flashy older sister like Kunimi-san munching on kushiyaki skewers while holding a beer mug was surprisingly picturesque.

“Let’s play the innards game.”

“What’s that?”

“Kirishima, open your mouth and close your eyes.”

Doing as she said, I closed my eyes, and a piece of meat, taken off a skewer, was tossed into my mouth. Got it, that’s how it works. I touched the meat with my tongue, chewed, swallowed, and answered.

“Mino.”

“Bzzzt! It was hatsu!”

One after another, pieces of meat were popped into my mouth. Shimachou, maruchou, hoho, hachinosu—I threw out random guesses, but none were right.

“This is tough! The sauce is so strong, and I’m not even that familiar with horumon to begin with.”

“Okay, last one. Don’t chew, just lick it and guess.”

I closed my eyes again. What came into my mouth was—

“Wait, this is your finger, Kunimi-san!”

“Correct!”

Kunimi-san cackled and wiped her finger on the hem of my shirt.

“I love making games~”

Apparently, she collaborates with people from her university’s board game club to create original games.

I thought she was just a bartender-in-training who diligently worked her shifts, drinking away behind the bar counter, so hearing about her university life felt kind of fresh.

“More importantly, how long are you gonna keep eating? I came because you said your cat ran away.”

“My kitty’s full of energy, you know. Gotta eat up to catch her!”

“By the way, how’d you even get my number?”

“The emergency contact list from work.”

“That’s not okay!”

“You’re so uptight, Kirishima~”

Apparently, Kunimi-san lives alone in an apartment around here, and her pet cat escaped from her place, which is why she contacted me to help catch it.

“Whatever, it’s a good chance to unwind, right?”

“You’re making it sound like I’m totally stressed out.”

“But you are, aren’t you? Packing your schedule with work shifts to keep yourself busy on purpose.”

Kunimi-san raised her empty mug, ordering another beer, and said,

“You’re agonizing, aren’t you? Over the one with the big chest or the one with nice legs?”

Kunimi-san knows about our situation.

We’ve had those kinds of conversations during work. It was easy to talk to her because she’s outside our messy web of relationships.

“Kirishima, have you looked at your face in the mirror lately?”

Kunimi-san picked up the fresh mug from the table, took a sip, and said,

“You look awful. Haggard, like you’re at your limit.”

♧♧♧

I’m aware I’ve been looking worn out lately. I haven’t had much of an appetite and haven’t been eating much.

When people don’t know what to do, they get terribly confused.

I made the mistake of saying out loud that Tachibana-san and I wouldn’t spend Christmas together, and since then, she’s been visibly depressed.

She stopped coming to my classroom, and when I went to check on her during break, she was slumped over her desk, brooding.

Every time someone in class mentioned Christmas, she’d lift her head and shoot resentful glances. And yet, I couldn’t help but find even her exhausted expression beautiful.

But Tachibana-san was at her breaking point, and something happened to prove it.

It was during lunch break in the old music room.

Tachibana-san was playing the piano, and I was sitting beside her on the same chair, watching. She played fluently at first, but then she stopped and buried her face in her hands.

“It’s not because I’m spending Christmas with Yanagi-kun that I won’t be with you, Shirou-kun.”

“I know. It’s the piano competition, right?”

The piano competition Tachibana-san is participating in is held over two days, December 24th and 25th. Apparently, she’ll play a set piece and a free piece each day.

And on the night of the 25th, there’s a Christmas party with piano-related friends and their families. Yanagi-senpai will attend as Tachibana-san’s fiancé.

“Shirou-kun, are you coming to watch the competition?”

After asking, Tachibana-san said weakly, “No, you can’t, right?”

The world of Tachibana-san’s piano connections is completely unknown to me. She has proper friends there, and Yanagi-senpai has been introduced as her fiancé. That’s what Senpai told me.

“…………Maybe I should just quit piano.”

“What?”

“If I quit piano, there’d be no competition, I could go to a regular university, and then I could go to school with you, Shirou-kun.”

“That’s……”

“Yeah! Let’s do that!”

Tachibana-san suddenly brightened up and said,

“I’m terrible at studying! So you’ll teach me, right, Shirou-kun? We’ll study in the library every day! It’ll definitely be fun!”

“Hold on, Tachibana-san……”

I don’t know much about the specifics, but Tachibana-san’s piano skills are good enough to make being a concert pianist a realistic goal. That’s probably a big deal, and considering all the time she’s invested, I couldn’t just tell her to quit so easily.

So I said, “You should keep playing the piano……”

That’s when it happened.

With her left hand still on the keys, Tachibana-san grabbed the piano lid with her right and slammed it shut.

There was no hesitation or restraint.

But her left hand wasn’t crushed.

Because I thrust my right hand in. The back of my hand was caught, making a dull thud.

Tachibana-san looked at me in shock, then quickly grabbed my right hand with both of hers. My hand was red and already starting to swell.

“I’m sorry…… Shirou-kun…… I’m sorry……”

Tachibana-san said, head bowed, her long hair hiding her face.

I didn’t feel much pain in my hand. What hurt more was seeing Tachibana-san, who always said “It’s fine” to keep herself in check, unravel like this.

“I’m the weak one.”

Tachibana-san said, still hiding her face.

“Starting to like Yanagi-kun a little, not being able to ignore my family’s situation.”

“I’ve never once thought that was a bad thing.”

Tachibana-san isn’t worried about her own lifestyle or the costs of going to an arts university. What she really cares about is her mother’s business and the people involved in it. If the business shrinks, it would affect the employees.

“When I started thinking Yanagi-kun was nice, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to end up with him. It’d be easy. Everything would fall into place.”

“I’m the worst, aren’t I?” Tachibana-san clung to my hand and said,

So she wouldn’t waver anymore, so she could keep loving the person she truly loves—

“Hey, Shirou-kun, break me. Break me completely, perfectly.”

A few days later, it happened.

One night, Yanagi-senpai visited my house. He was coming from cram school, as usual.

My mom was thrilled to see Yanagi-senpai after so long, while my sister, who knows the situation, looked at me with wide-eyed shock, as if to say, “What’s going on?”

“I made Hikari-chan cry.”

Yanagi-senpai said as he sat on a floor chair in my room. During a routine dinner as her fiancé, Tachibana-san had started crying silently. He sent her home right after.

“But I can’t back down. Those tears weren’t because she hates me.”

He’s right. Tachibana-san knows she’s starting to have feelings for Senpai, and she’s struggling with not being able to stay fully devoted.

“It’s tough to play dirty. Being upright and fair is so much easier.”

Yanagi-senpai said, placing a single postcard on the table.

“This is……”

“An invitation to the Christmas party on the 25th.”

I looked at the back of the postcard. The venue was a hotel hall in the city.

“Hikari-chan has parts of herself she hasn’t shown you.”

“I know.”

It’s the gap that exists between me and Tachibana-san. The lifestyle I glimpsed the other day, the future her piano talent promises—she hides those things, acting like an ordinary girl to stay by my side.

“Hikari-chan is starting to like me. If she faces those feelings, this engagement won’t be an unhappy one anymore.”

That’s what Senpai is saying. For Tachibana Hikari’s future, he’s the one who can make her happy. So she should be with him. Come to the Christmas party to see that, to accept it. And—

“Give Tachibana Hikari to me.”

With that, Senpai bowed his head to me.

♧♧♧

“I wanted a guy friend~”

Kunimi-san said.

We were searching for the runaway cat in Ueno Park. It was winter, but the sunlight was warm. The park was bustling with families, people sketching, and street performers.

“By the way, what kind of cat is it?”

“A chubby calico.”

Kunimi-san, hands in her pockets, looked like she was having fun strolling around.

“It’s hard to make guy friends, you know. They all have ulterior motives.”

In that sense, I’m safe, she said.

“Since you’re too spineless to even do anything with your girlfriend.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Also, Kirishima, you kinda remind me of a guy I liked in high school. Could you do a seven-three hair part for me?”

“No way.”

We wandered the park looking for the cat. During that time, I rambled to Kunimi-san about Hayasaka-san, Tachibana-san, and Yanagi-senpai.

I wasn’t expecting advice, and she didn’t give me any preachy lectures either. Kunimi-san just listened, saying “That’s wild” with amusement.

As I talked, my heart gradually felt lighter. The warm sunlight and the laughter of people in the park were comforting. Being in a wide-open space with so many people made my problems seem trivial.

Then, at Kunimi-san’s suggestion, we visited art galleries and museums.

“This feels kinda intellectual.”

“I’m getting a high-level education at university, you know? Show some respect.”

We just poked fun at the exhibits. She made me strike the same pose as a primitive man statue, snapping a picture with her phone while cackling.

After messing around, we resumed the cat search.

Holding paper coffee cups, we sat on a bench, waiting for the cat to pass by.

“Kirishima, let’s play the happiness game.”

“What’s that?”

“We take turns saying words that make you feel happy. If you can’t, you get a forehead flick.”

“You just came up with that game, didn’t you?”

“Pretty much,” she said, starting the game anyway.

“Inside the blankets on a winter morning.”

“A crisp, wrinkle-free white shirt.”

“The first train after a night of drinking.”

“A freshly sharpened pencil.”

“Shrimp and scallop ajillo.”

“A quiet library with no one around.”

We kept wasting time aimlessly. But no cat ever showed up, and all that passed by were families, couples, art students, and pigeons.

It was when the sun started to set.

I asked Kunimi-san, who was reading manga on her phone,

“What kind of cat are we looking for again?”

“A sleek black cat. A pretty refined one.”

Kunimi-san’s phone screen showed a panel with a Russian Blue. Oh, come on. When I gave her a deadpan stare, Kunimi-san burst out laughing with a “Kuha!”

“There was never a cat to begin with, was there?”

“You finally figured it out.”

“So today was just us slacking off for no reason?”

“It’s fine, isn’t it? Your complexion’s looking a bit better, Kirishima.”

“You called me out because I was down?”

“You were looking rough. Eating some horumon, soaking up sunlight, chilling on a bench—you’re a bit refreshed, right?”

Apparently, Kunimi-san had planned this from the start. She saw how stressed and tired I was and invited me out to cheer me up.

But why, I wondered. Going this far to look after a junior coworker seemed overly meddlesome, and she didn’t strike me as the type to care that much about others. When I pointed that out, Kunimi-san scratched her head awkwardly.

“I feel a tiny bit responsible, you know. For your love life.”

“Why would you feel responsible, Kunimi-san?”

“Well, I’m not exactly unconnected to you, Kirishima.”

I thought about it for a moment. I don’t have a long-lost sister, and I’ve lived a life far removed from someone who dyes the underside of their hair pink and covers themselves in piercings.

“Give me a hint.”

“Let’s see…… If I said I think of your relationship with Hayasaka-san not as a mere contact effect but as a depth-of-self-disclosure loop, would that ring a bell?”

Sharing private information with someone is a clear way to convey affection. By mutually revealing things you wouldn’t normally share, affection grows in a looping cycle. Indeed, Hayasaka-san and I have deepened our bond, both physically and emotionally, by sharing the secret of being each other’s “second” while continuing to disclose ourselves.

And as Kunimi-san used psychological terms, the dots started to connect. Her habit of jotting things down in a notebook, her love for creating games—

“No way……”

“Exactly.”

Kunimi-san said, flashing a peace sign.

“I’m the author of the love notebook, junior-kun.”

♧♧♧

When I asked which university Kunimi-san attends, she named a prestigious institution everyone knows.

The IQ 180 thing seems to be legit.

Suddenly, Kunimi-san seemed like an incredible person, and I felt a surge of respect. But that vanished the moment I saw the pile of unwashed dishes in her apartment’s kitchen.

“I love cooking, but cleaning up? Not so much.”

Kunimi-san said while chopping vegetables, the sound of the knife crisp and rhythmic. I was beside her, washing dishes. Scrubbing off the grime to make a plate clean felt satisfying.

“Keep that up and take care of the shoes at the entrance and the pile of ironing too.”

“I’m not doing that.”

I said, but I’d probably end up doing it. I feel at ease when things are organized. Conversely, disorder makes me anxious. That’s why I’m not great with the current situation, being pulled around by Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san.

Kunimi-san, who doesn’t mind a messy room, might handle a situation like mine with ease. People like that are tougher, and I think that’s better. I want to be like that.

“My family’s place is nearby, you know.”

Even so, Kunimi-san lives alone in a modest one-room apartment. She covers her tuition with scholarships and her part-time job earnings.

“I like doing things my way.”

She told me to clear the table for dinner, so I tried to tidy it up. But with nowhere to put things, I just ended up moving stuff to the floor. Makeup bottles, utility bill receipts, dense-looking university textbooks—this is what “lived-in” looks like.

“Here, fried rice.”

Kunimi-san also brought out an unfamiliar beer bottle from the fridge.

“What’s that?”

“You don’t know? Man, such a kid~ It’s Tsingtao beer, Tsingtao. Gotta have this with Chinese food, right?”

Kunimi-san ate the fried rice while sipping the beer, then eagerly pulled out a notebook. She scribbled down “Innards Game” and “Happiness Game,” the two games she came up with while we were hanging out in Ueno. But soon, she said, “This one’s a dud,” and erased “Happiness Game” with an eraser.

“Kunimi-san, that’s not……”

“Yup.”

Kunimi-san showed me the notebook’s cover.

True Love Notebook

The love notebook series, consisting of twelve volumes plus the thirteenth forbidden book—its mythical fourteenth volume, the sequel, was complete……

“The Innards Game has potential.”

What followed was like magic. As if possessed, Kunimi-san wrote and erased, wrote and erased, refining the Innards Game’s content, rules, and even its name. In her mind, she was running countless trials. Trial and error.

And what she completed was—

Blindfold Taste King Championship

A simple game where you guess what’s put in your mouth based solely on taste and texture.

But strict rules were added to prevent cheating.

You have to be blindfolded and have your hands tied behind your back.

I couldn’t help but imagine it: Tachibana-san, blindfolded, hands tied behind her back, sitting on the clubroom sofa, cheeks flushed as she opens her mouth.

I could put anything into that small mouth, where her pink tongue peeks out. I could urge her to lick and eat it, or even push it deep into her throat. Tachibana-san would probably say,

I can’t see anything. So I don’t know what you’re putting in. You can put anything in.

Drool dripping from her mouth, falling onto her white thighs. The image flashed in my mind.

“When humans lose their sight, their other senses sharpen, so things could get intense.”

Kunimi-san fanned my imagination.

“There’s also the pattern where you’re blindfolded, Kirishima. It’d start with snacks, but things might escalate, right? If the other person knows you can’t see, they could get pretty bold. They might let you lick all sorts of places.”

If you’re blindfolded, you wouldn’t know what you’re licking.

Using the excuse that you can’t verify, you could keep licking indefinitely.

But after staring at the entry for a while, Kunimi-san tore out the Blindfold Taste King Championship page and threw it away.

“Nah, it’s a dud.”

“Why? It seemed like a pretty high-quality game……”

“It might’ve worked for the original love notebook, but for the fourteenth volume, it’s lackluster.”

Lackluster? That?

The True Love Notebook. Just how many games are in it? I could almost see a pink miasma rising from the notebook. Kunimi-san playfully pressed it against me, saying, “Take that!” I yelped, “Hiee!” and dodged.

After that bit of fun, Kunimi-san got a little serious.

“Kirishima, maybe you should quit the job.”

She said it so casually.

It was while we were drinking instant coffee after the meal.

“What your girlfriends want from you isn’t presents or stuff like that, right?”

She’s right. They don’t want material satisfaction.

“You’ve already achieved the real reason you started working at that place.”

Kunimi-san’s sharp. She’s completely seen through me.

“If you keep piling on shifts when you don’t need to, hiding behind the image of ‘working for your lovers,’ they’ll bite back.”

Beautiful things are asuras, Kunimi-san said.

“Asuras?”

“I think both Tachibana-san and Hayasaka-san have a thin layer of skin hiding a pale, burning passion underneath. That’s why they’re beautiful. The things people find beautiful are often like blades, you know? Sharp, sickly, or mad things are beautiful.”

To humans, beauty beyond a certain point might be synonymous with awe. In fairy tales or ghost stories, otherworldly beings are often given beautiful appearances.

Beautiful things are terrifying. Paradoxically, terrifying things are beautiful.

“If you told them that, they’d probably get super mad.”

“They’re still high schoolers, so it’s cute. But it’s like calling a tiger cub cute.”

With that, Kunimi-san raised her coffee cup.

“To Kirishima’s resignation, and to not awakening the two asuras—good luck.”

“Got it.”

Her tone was playful, but what Kunimi-san said made sense.

I’ve been swept along by the situation, completely overwhelmed, and lately, I’ve been escaping into work. But I need to face the two of them properly.

With that thought, as we toasted to my resignation,

My phone, placed on the table, vibrated. The screen showed Tachibana Hikari. An incoming call.

“Answer it.”

Kunimi-san said.

“From what you’ve said, Tachibana-san’s at her limit, right?”

She’s right. It’s time for the final reckoning—talking properly about her relationship with Yanagi-senpai, including dissolving the sharing arrangement.

Thinking that, I tapped the call button, but—

“Shirou-kun!”

The voice was so excited, it could’ve been Hikari-chan (grade-schooler).

“About Christmas, I talked it out with Hayasaka-san!”

Apparently, she’s with Hayasaka-san right now, at an amusement park, riding a Ferris wheel.

I don’t even know where they are, but maybe without me, the two of them get along fine.

“Christmas is for Hayasaka-san, and I’m fine with New Year’s!”

“New Year’s?”

“A trip to Kyoto, three days, two nights!”

In the background, Hayasaka-san’s voice said, “Two nights is too long~!” Tachibana-san shot back, “I’m giving you Christmas, so it’s fine!” Their playful bickering came through before the call cut off.

I stared at my phone for a moment, then looked at Kunimi-san and said,

“Looks like the only ones at their limit are me and Yanagi-senpai.”

“Seems like it.”

Kunimi-san patted my shoulder and said,

“For now, keep at the job.”

New Year’s in Kyoto is expensive, after all.